They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
im holly from the hills drunk
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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