I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
