If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he thought i was a dude.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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