Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
