Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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