I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
