She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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