Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
