I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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