Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
