I think I am morally bankrupt
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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