How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
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Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
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You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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