I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
