Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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