also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
