Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you would pick up someone in the library
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
