You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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