She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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