I'll bet she douches with gravy.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
