i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
