You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
