In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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