i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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