guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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