that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize