some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
