Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
