i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
