I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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