Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize