She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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