why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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