the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
