My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
