I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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