Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
