How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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