You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
