If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
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