he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
