clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
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the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
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