my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
