I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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