I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
