3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
