He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
