With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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