Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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