if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
