ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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