I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
