I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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