goodnight i made you a song goodbye
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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