Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
