literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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