I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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