OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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