i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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