Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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