An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
