Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
